Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
