some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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