I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
