I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
