Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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