we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
