can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
