11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
