just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
