There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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