I wish they made helmets for livers.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
