So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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