He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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