so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize