Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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