He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
