90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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