...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize