why didn't you poke me back
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
