Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Michael Bay diarrhea
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
