I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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