every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
