Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize