the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
