i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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