I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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