What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
