well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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