i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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