I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
