I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
