Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
