if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
