Soap is not a condiment
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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