So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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