He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize