had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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