Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize