Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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