third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
