Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
