was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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