I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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