Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize