I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
