Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
