I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
