Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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