Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
