I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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