Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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