hell yes lets make some ravioli
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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