2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
