Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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