have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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