I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He did a backflip because drugs
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
