I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
