omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
