no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
