Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
