Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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