In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
