what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
