in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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