just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
