we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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