Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
