69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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